Don’t be controlled by anger
(Opening)
“Jane is a good mother!” You may have heard session masters introduce me this way. But I have a confession to make. I am a frustrated mother. I’ve always had terrible problems with my sons. I go the extra mile to help them to get rid of their bad habits and hope they put their heart into their studies.
I take responsibility for everything big and small on a daily basis. For example, in this morning, my son called out for help. “Mom, where is my uniform? I can’t find it anywhere. Can you help me?” So I put my chores aside and looked for the uniform. Even worse, sometimes their teachers complain to me how badly they behave in school. They don’t summit the homework or distract others in the class. It takes my breath away. But I can’t quit my responsibility.
Gradually, I find myself nagging a lot and losing my temper easily. I feel the generation gap is creeping into my family. One day when I saw my son made the room messy, one sock here and another there, I got angry again and blamed him. While I was yelling at him in front of the mirror, I saw myself; a grumpy face in the mirror. Then I looked at my son, he was scared and his head drooped. I think my anger might affect his character. I have to change my ways.
(Body)
Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life.
Have you ever lost your temper? How do you feel? When you get angry, your heart rate and blood pressure go up, as do the levels of your energy hormones and adrenaline. A raging person usually doesn ’t listen to any explanations or advice, they are out of control and seem like volcano erupting. And often things happen that trigger their anger, and these things make them regretful all their lives. So we need to control our anger before it controls us.
However, knowing how to recognize and express anger appropriately can help us to reach goals. What makes you angry? It is best to find out what it is that triggers your anger, and then to develop strategies to keep those triggers from sending you over the edge. I have figured out how to make my sons listen to me. I set up of rules for them, if they can reach it, they will get more allowance. I made contract with them.
Are you too angry? What can you do when you feel angry? Try to divert your thoughts. For my experience, instead of telling myself, “oh, it’s awful, it’s terrible, I’m going to blow up.” I tell myself, “it’s frustrating, I’m upset about it, but it’s not the end of the world and getting angry is not going to fix it anyhow.” That way can help me get a more balanced perspective and cool down.
Give yourself a break. Make sure you have some “ personal time” scheduled for times of the day that you know are particularly stressful. If your life is full of stress, dissatisfaction can easily pile up until one day the dam bursts. So find something you enjoy and do it on a regular basis. Schedule it in! For me, I like gardening, so I feel peaceful when I water the flowers and trim the branches.
(Conclusion)
Since I started to learn to control my anger, my relationship with my sons is getting better and the generation gap is being bridged. We enjoy having small talks and they are thoughtful to share in housework. I just did a little change but benefited a lot. I am a happy mother now.
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